Getting Hair to Shut Up: A How To Guide

priyagrace@mac.com:  Question: how do you make hair shut up?

vanessalombera@mac.com: you pull it really hard
and throw a shoe at it
that’ll teach it

priyagrace@mac.com:  and perhaps, knock out the person who owns said hair

vanessalombera@mac.com: exactly
slam them into a wall
nicely of course
push them down the stairs
you get it

priyagrace@mac.com:  Uhm… yeah… I’m gettin’ somethin’…

vanessalombera@mac.com:  it’s not really anger
it’s like tough love
aggressive admiration
something like that

priyagrace@mac.com:  aggressive admiration
there’s a defense

vanessalombera@mac.com:  ”what, officer? i’m innocent. i mean did you SEE her hair?!”

priyagrace@mac.com:  here’s hoping for either a woman or gay officer