“…celestial sex in heaven with perpetual virgins. oh wait, that’s muslims.” -jeff wenke
“dude, i’ve been to gaming conventions and i’ve seen 72 virgins in the same room and it’s not pretty.” – tom byrne
Epic Mayhem
April 5, 2008I take no responsibility for the madness that was EPIC last Monday.
somebody spiked the holy of holies. – jeff mincey
and this is the new ass! -jeff mincey
free coffee, donuts, and dna testing in the back. -jeff wenke
mother’s day we should just hand out cleaning supplies. -tom byrne
for guys, we could have a secret booth where they walk in and someone kicks ‘em in the crotch. -frances tuck
i can’t type that fast! -vanessa lombera
stop! i have to pee! i’m not wearing any underwear – i’m serious! -randi wiesner
Quotable [EPIC style]
March 3, 2008“Wonderful cross, my ass.” -Brandi Mincey
In response to the question – ‘How do you know you’re ready to get married?’
“Well, do you wanna get in her pants real bad?” -anonymous
EPIC Quotes
February 11, 2008Too hard to pick just one tonight.
“Dude. I just totally saw a web app in my head.”-Jeff Mincey
“We’re gonna read the month of Colossians in the book of March.” -Jeff Wenke
“Yes! I just got it up!” -Jeff Mincey
Redeeming Mohawk
February 6, 2008I know the week’s not over yet. But I’m fairly certain that my bright spot this whole week will be Dylan’s new haircut. In the midst of crises, 3 year olds with mohawks always save the day.
Hope?
February 4, 2008
I had triple berry pie with an older and wiser friend last week. When he asked me how I’m doing, the truth just kind of fell out of my mouth.
I’m tired. I believe the term we like to use is ‘burnt out.’ Exhausted. Weary. Whatever you call the sort of thing that starts on the outside, but works its way in and sinks into your bones, your psyche and your spirit. I can sleep 12 hours and still wake up feeling worn out, used up. Even the word weary makes my shoulders slump. It’s not just the depletion of energy, it’s that plus the compounded vexation with something that is [or maybe has become over time] disagreeable somehow. Kinda like swimming upstream.
I’m deconstructing [or so my already-deconstructed friends tell me]. Last summer something snapped in me on a Sunday morning. I felt so much pressure, so much responsibility, so much stress over how things were going in church that morning. I felt alone and inadequate. I’d felt all these things before, but never with the sense that it was so pointless. I ended up backstage with my head in my hands just sobbing. And admitting for the first time to myself that there is something wrong with the way I’m approaching this. Church work shouldn’t be killing me spiritually. All this stress and orchestration and pressure and anxiety and weight and importance for what? For an hour or so that may or may not actually be helping anyone spiritually? In fact, who’s to say it’s not actually hurting or hindering people? The thought of it makes me shiver. I took this job to help people, not to get in the way.
I’m confused. I love my church. I have rich, deep friendships because of The Journey. I’ve been given 1 million+ opportunities to use and grow in my gifts there. And God kicked open every door imaginable so that I would invest my working hours at this church. Of this I have no doubt. So then what of this new discontent? Is it merely emotional? Is it because I need a vacation? Is it cuz we’re in a trying time of transition? Or is it because there’s a better way? I will gladly do what God wants. I mean it. But, God, just tell me already. This figuring it out on my own is taking for.e.ver.
Being older and wiser my friend merely listened, sometimes nodded, sometimes smirked [in that annoying older and wiser way]. And then he asked me: “What do you think Paul meant when he wrote ‘And I hope that when I get to heaven I hear well done, good and faithful servant’?” To which I responded with an eloquent, “uh…”
I immediately caught my friend’s drift. Wait, he hopes? Why on earth would he use the word hope? Wasn’t Paul dead certain that his work was not in vain? I stopped eating my pie for like a whole 2 minutes and thought – woah! maybe it’s possible that from time to time Paul was just plain tired! Is it possible that at the end sitting in prison writing loooong letters with last instructions got old? Maybe he was weary and saying “Geez, this really better be worth all the fuss in the end. I deserve at least a wink and a smile when I get to heaven or I’m really gonna be pissed.”
And then I thought – could he have been confused from time to time? Maybe, just maybe, even Paul recognized that he was constrained at times by the things of culture, the things of the Church he was building, the things of human nature, and constrained even by his own person. Maybe once in a while he slipped backstage and cried and questioned the whole thing, thinking – what if I’m doing this all wrong? What if by giving what I think is my best, I’m actually getting in the way? What if my contribution isn’t enough? And then maybe at one point he realized his work certainly was NOT enough and then he said “i hope…” Meaning: God, I cannot possibly do what my heart longs to do for you. I have undoubtedly failed you and other people along the way. If I’m honest, I have no idea how this is supposed to be done. But I never gave up trying to figure out how to give my best and at this point, I’m gonna have to trust that it’s been worth something to you.
When I got home I immediately looked for this particular passage. Turns out, there’s nowhere Paul says he hopes in this context. Proving my friend may just be older and not necessarily as wise as he acts. Oh well, at least the pie was good.
Highs & Lows
January 24, 2008Kindle once gave me some advice about getting information out of Diego about how his day at school was. Everytime I’d ask him how his day was, he’d reply “fine.” So I decided to ask him a series of questions ranging from what he had for lunch to who he played with, etc, etc. All just so I’d get some info and hopefully a longer than one word answer. That worked better until one day Diego looked at me quizzically and asked, “Why do you always ask me what I had for lunch?” Like it was the stupidest thing ever. He had a point.
So Kindle being all tutorish and reading-center-director-like told me to play a simple game of highs and lows with him instead. Stick with me, this is going somewhere. The game goes like this:
Each person in the car [or at the dinner table or wherever] tells everybody the high point and low point of their day giving a general sense of what was a big deal in their day as well as possibly leading to some stories and / or follow up questions. Easy to get the convo going. It’s worked like a charm for 2.5 years. In fact, I cheat and use it as ice breakers in group meetings too. Thanks Kindle!
My point is this: I’ve decided to post highs. I figure I need them. I need a file full of highs to shuffle through when the lows take over. Starting today [a day that started loooowww].
Early this afternoon on my way to work, I stopped by the bank to grab some cash. Physically going INTO the bank is the only way I can access cash [a whole different story]. I have no ATM card these days, so I have to use my actual ID which is so 1990. Anyway, I was pissy and in a hurry so I walked up to the open teller [a 20 something year old guy] and told him I needed cash. I flung open my wallet on the counter and waited patiently for him to write all the numbers down. ho hum.
So then he starts chuckling. And he says, “Wow! That was like out of a movie! You just rolled out your wallet like wa-psht! You know what I’m talking about?! Have you seen that? Do it again!” So then I did it again and we DIED laughing. Hysterically in the middle of the bank. Once we settled down he said, “I wasn’t sure I should say anything. I’m so glad you laughed.” And we lost it again. I pulled out of the parking lot and I would have bet all the cash in my wallet that nothing was gonna top that today. So there it is, my high.
