Happy Holidays

January 4, 2009

New Year’s Day I roll over and open my eyes to see Dylan yawning and stretching next to me in bed.  I say “Happy New Year Dilly!”  He responds sleepily, “Merry Christmas Mommy.”  I go with it and exclaim, “Happy Easter!”  To which he scoffs, shakes his head and replies, “Silly Mommy, it’s not Halloween.”  




2008: The Thank God It’s Over Survey

January 2, 2009


i do one survey a year.  this is it people.


1 ) What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?  oh man.  the list is long & much too inappropriate for public posting.

2 ) Did you keep your new years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?  i normally don’t, but this year i’m setting some goals.  

3 ) Did anyone close to you give birth?  stacy, kelly, & genesee. 

4 ) Did anyone close to you die?  bernie mac.  he was like a brother.

5 ) What countries did you visit?  east san jose.  

6 ) What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?  a spine, a chandelier for the kitchen.  

7 ) What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?  february 1 & september 25. both extremely significant life changes.     

8 ) What was your biggest achievement of the year?  accepting help when i needed it.

9 ) What was your biggest failure?  not finishing my invisalign treatment.

10 ) Did you suffer illness or injury?  worst. flu. ever.

11 ) What was the best thing you bought?  a coatrack. 

12 ) Where did most of your money go?  laundry.  $2/load x 17,000 loads. no wonder i’m always broke.

13 ) What did you get really, really, really excited about?  the sex and the city movie.

14 ) What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?  most everything by Rhianna & Jordin Sparks.

15 ) Compared to this time last year, are you:

happier or sadder?  neither of those words describe the difference i feel.  

thinner or fatter?  the same-ish.

richer or poorer?   WAY poorer monetarily. much richer in experience.

16 ) What do you wish you’d done more of?  reading oprah magazine.

17 ) What do you wish you’d done less of?  crying.

18 ) How did you spend Christmas?  calmly & peacefully.  finally.

19 ) Did you fall in love in 2008?  yes, i began a long-term relationship with coffee.

20 ) How many one-night stands?  great question.  i’ll remember to keep track next year.

21 ) What was your favorite TV program?  cable is a luxury we’ve learned to live without

22 ) Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?  no. i hate all the same people.  i’m just finally honest about it.

23 ) What was the best book you read?  If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

24 ) What was your greatest musical discovery of 2008?  Leona Lewis.

25 ) What did you want and get?  one more kid in school, one more out of diapers, several soaks in a huge bathtub, a new camera, to feel pretty again.

26 ) What did you want and not get?  a backyard, a memorable new year’s eve, sculpted abs.

27 ) What was your favorite film of this year?  the ‘jesus is my friend’ video. [thanks jon]

28 ) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  i was taken on a hot date to mcdonald’s, walmart, tjmaxx, the movies, dinner, and mcdonald’s again.  i was serenaded by a boy who cannot sing to save his life.  i listened to rock me amadeus, had a margarita and received my very first voodoo doll. another fabulous 30th bday.

29 ) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  more #1 rankings on the compare people facebook app. 

30 ) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?  2008: The Cleavage Comeback 

31 ) What kept you sane?   watching the ‘jesus is my friend’ video.

32 ) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  hugh jackman is my boyfriend.

33 ) What political issue stirred you the most?  something tells me i should have paid attention this year.

34 ) Who did you miss?  everardo, jennine.

35 ) Who was the best new person you met?  spencer austin sanborn.  who are you & where did you come from?

36 ) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.  stay in today. [thanks mom]


The Multi-purpose Padded Envelope

June 19, 2008

Dylan was awake tonight when I got home. This would normally be annoying to say the least, but it quickly turned into the bright spot of my day when he opened a package a friend sent me and did the most logical thing fathomable [to a 4 year old] with the padded envelope:

What a great way to end the day!


Getting Hair to Shut Up: A How To Guide

June 19, 2008

priyagrace@mac.com:  Question: how do you make hair shut up?

vanessalombera@mac.com: you pull it really hard
and throw a shoe at it
that’ll teach it

priyagrace@mac.com:  and perhaps, knock out the person who owns said hair

vanessalombera@mac.com: exactly
slam them into a wall
nicely of course
push them down the stairs
you get it

priyagrace@mac.com:  Uhm… yeah… I’m gettin’ somethin’…

vanessalombera@mac.com:  it’s not really anger
it’s like tough love
aggressive admiration
something like that

priyagrace@mac.com:  aggressive admiration
there’s a defense

vanessalombera@mac.com:  “what, officer? i’m innocent. i mean did you SEE her hair?!”

priyagrace@mac.com:  here’s hoping for either a woman or gay officer



June 19, 2008

As written by my already-a-legend 8 year old:

This is a story about Vanessa Lombera. Vanessa is my mom. I admire her because she has cool hair and she is a great singer and she can count to 10 in 5 languages.

Vanessa was born on December 9, 1974 on the big island of Hawaii. She grew up in Hawaii until she was ten. She liked living in Hawaii because it was tropical and it had coconuts, sugar cane, and macadamia nuts. She remembers playing in the puddles when it would rain because the rain was warm. She also remembers hula dancing and making leis in school for Lei Day.

She moved to California when she was in the 5th grade. She lived with her mom and her brother in a big yellow house. The house had frogs in the bathtub and her brother had to shake the shower curtain to get rid of the frogs so they would not jump on her.

In school Vanessa’s favorite subject was to read and write. Some of her favorite things to do when she wasn’t in school were camping on the beach, telling ghost stories, singing, and dancing. In high school Vanessa was a cheerleader and president of the whole school.

When she became an adult Vanessa sang at Great America as Pebbles from The Flinstones. Now she is a singer and music director at our church The Journey. The most important thing in her life is my brother, my sister, and me. We like to go to the pool together and go to the water park together.

My mom is important to me because she does nice things for me. She buys me clothes, takes me to the pool on hot days, and takes care of me when I’m sick. She is really special and I love her.


Why I Love Tiffany

June 18, 2008

tiffyd72@aol.com:  i always go back to “Walk with God and do whatever you want to do”
whatever you think is causing your anxiety
that’s not it
seek first the kingdom

vanessalombera@mac.com:  expound pls

tiffyd72@aol.com:  “Walk with God and do whatever you want to do”
that’s it
did i blow your mind or did you have to pee?

vanessalombera@mac.com:  hahahaha
you blew my mind so much you made me have to pee
so both
no my friend reminded me of tommy page
so i’m youtubing
god he really can’t sing

tiffyd72@aol.com:  glad to know i’ve held your attention

vanessalombera@mac.com:  so do whatever you want… cause if you’re walking with god, your desires are increasingly kingdom minded?
something like that?
no you have!
i had to absorb

tiffyd72@aol.com:  your desires are more aligned with God’s desires
so that’s it
that’s my whole philosophy of christianity

vanessalombera@mac.com:  wow
but you know
the REAL Q is…
what about the apostle’s creed??

tiffyd72@aol.com:  seek first the kingdom of God and God’s righteousness
the apostles can all line up and kiss my kingdom seeking ass

*note: if you want more check out Tiffany’s blog. Always good for a laugh, a spiritual insight, or shoe inspiration.



June 18, 2008

Diego: Dylan you better not say bad words because Santa is watching you all year long on a magic TV.

Dylan: So. I don’t care.

Diego: You better care ’cause he’s watching you and you won’t get any presents if you’re not good.

Aria: Yeah, Santa’s watching you and so is Jesus. And God.

Dylan: [raises eyebrows, looks forlorn]

Diego: Aria, God & Jesus are the same thing. DUH.

Dylan: Yeah! DUHHH! Santa & Jesus & God! DUHHH!